So, It DOESN'T Revolve Around Me? Hmmm...Interesting...Part 1

It's funny...sometimes my mom says that I was spoiled when I was a little kid and to be quite honest I seethe a bit and get a little irritated when she makes the claim because trust me...I did not feel spoiled. When you are spoiled I envision you being the person that everyone's world revolves around, and trust me, that wasn't me. If my mom spoiled me, then all the damage that my brothers did while she was at work gave me a memory lapse...because everyday I was keenly aware that the world didn't revolve around me.

Example One...Damien (older brother) and Chris (younger brother) and I are playing "Red light/Green light" in the stairwell of our townhouse. I win. I get to the top of the stair case where Chris is waiting to try my beginning hand at gloating. I pump my fists and say, "Yes! I won!" Chris pushed me down that flight of stairs...The world DID NOT revolve around me...

Example Two...M.C. Hammer changes my life...I need "Hammer pants..." Mama buys me a purple paisley pair with a shirt that has a matching attached vest (you know the vest that is sewn to the sides of the shirt so that its only on the front of the shirt and not the back??) and a similar gold paisley pair. I even get shiny black Hammer shoes with ribbon laces...pretty good...BUT she puts them in the closet til school starts so that I can't wear them. I finally get to wear them, a few months go by, I hit a growth spurt and now my Hammer pants are flooding...I need a new pair. But, apparently, Mama doesn't have the cash flow to upgrade my Hammer pants every time my socks are visible. So I have to push through and wear flooding Hammer pants...The world DID NOT revolve around me...

Example Three...In middle school I dressed up for every spirit day. I was definitely awkward and didn't really have a specific crowd of friends and though I cared what people thought, you can look back at pictures of me from then and realize that my self awareness hadn't totally kicked in. Spirit day comes and I am stumped trying to think of the grandest idea. My spirited aunt Yolanda (you know, the one who used to have a Jheri Curl) who lived for these types of things eagerly decided that I should be a "human mum"...I hadn't yet hit high school where every southerner bogged their children down with 2 or 3 mums at Homecoming to prove they were popular so I didn't have a clue what a mum was. For those as clueless as I was, its this...

So in order to transform me into a "human mum" she took a clear shower cap and glued white tissue paper to the top. She then pinned colored tissue paper and streamers to my body along with other whistles and bells. I left the house pretty proud. I walked to school...and well, it rained that day...so needless to say the tissue paper didn't hold up too well. But I was so proud of the sheer genius of it all, because although I had no clue what a mum was, my aunt assured me that others would DEFINITELY know, so I pressed on...well, the other middle schoolers didn't know what mums were either, so all day kids came up to me, looked disgustingly at my shower cap and go "What are YOU supposed to be?" Finally, I was cornered by the only two African American teachers in the school who informed me that by wearing a shower cap to school as an African American I was apparently ruining everything that Dr. King had worked for...prideful I kept on my costume and went sopping wet to class...lip quivering the whole way...The world DID NOT revolve around me.

So, its pretty apparent that some things didn't go my way as a youth...I sort of got the hint that the world didn't revolve around me. I knew I wasn't the coolest or I wouldn't have worn that mum to school, not the cutest or I wouldn't have worn flooding Hammer pants, not the strongest, or I would have punched Chris in the face when he pushed me down the stairs.

I wasn't the most understanding or I would have realized that my mom was gracious enough to buy me 2 pair of Hammer pants when ,in fact, as a single mom she could have easily bought something that would have been in fashion 5 minutes after the purchase, but she did it because she wanted to make me happy. (and because she TOTALLY had a crush on M.C. Hammer and thought the pants were pretty cool herself) I also wasn't the most appreciative or I would have stood up to those 2 ignorant teachers as they put down what my aunt had worked so tirelessly on to create for me to make my day special....she was always doing that... I was aware when I was young that I wasn't the best and that the world did not revolve around me. But, later on something changed and that realization definitely wore off. I will tell you about that later.

Til Later,