Friday, May 16, 2008

Please Vote (For Adam)

Adam and I have riveting conversations. Night after night we can be found talking about the deep things of the world, questions pondered by the masses...we take them on and talk until our hearts are content. You wont find a household of deeper thoughts than the one at 2788 Madison. Last night for example we talked and talked about the things we had encountered that day...Hillary, Obama, blogs we'd read, California's same sex marriage ban being struck down, Palestine and of all those topics the climactic point boiled over into an argument over who would look worse with a Jheri Curl...Adam or me. Now at the end of this blog I will ask you to cast your vote in the comment section letting me know who indeed would look the worst, but first lets talk Jheri Curl...

If you are unfamiliar with the words Jheri Curl or "activator" click HERE for an understanding before continuing...

The Jheri curl often mistakenly spelled Jerry Curl was, for those of you who are unfamiliar, a BIG mistake in the history of African Americans. As a people we have had some great successes. We have come together to evoke change in times of great suffering...the Montgomery Alabama Bus Boycott and Civil Rights are some great examples alone but something happened in the 70's that would, in my humble opinion, put sort of black mark on our history.

In the late 1970's a man by the name of Jheri Redding invented the Jheri Curl and ruined about a decade and a halve of lives. Some of my own family members were affected by this tragedy...you know who you are...actually, I HAVE to throw them under the bus....so I will go ahead and name them...

1. Ernie Joe Banks...AKA...My Dad... As a young child I realized that my dad thought he was the ladies man of all ladies men...the blue Camero, the tank tops... and he had all this confidence WITH a Jheri curl...(my mom obviously fell for it) As a child I thought that my dad resembled Eddie Murphy (with better teeth) and when I saw Coming to America in the Prime of my youth, the moment they introduced "Randy Watson" I forever had a hyperbolic image of what my dad would look like in the future if he did not take action against his curl.

THIS is Randy Watson...and classic video at that!


2. Yolanda Kay Pace...AKA...My dear aunt...introduced me to fashion and Prince and for that I will always be grateful, BUT under the bus you go!! Becoming South Garland High School's first black cheerleader must have been a joyous occasion, but a smudge was left on her legacy because the only picture I remember of her in uniform was the one of her in the splits with pom poms and a Jheri Curl... (Think Texas summers and cheerleading camp) I rest my case.

3. And finally because I can't dig up enough evidence to prove that my very own mother had one I will end with our family's reigning champion...Ruby Faye Morris...AKA MAW MAW!! Maw Maw literally just got rid of her curl a few years ago. As a believer I often wanted to remind her that Jesus says His "yolk is easy" and His "burden light" and that as a believer she shouldn't have had to carry around the weight of an activator filled curl for over a decade. She is now free and I can honestly say that she has never seemed happier.

Well, even though my family was truly affected I can't blame it all on Mr. Redding...this man had alot to do with why so many people had the Jheri Curl...


His fame was just too great for people not to emulate this look...I will leave you with one man's story of how Michael Jackson's style encouraged his love for the curl...and then I would ask you to vote...and white Americans...I would ask you not to judge because the curly mullet was the EXACT SAME THING as the Jheri Curl...

Listen to the words of writer Michael Venable...

"As a child at Michael Jackson's height, I had everything I needed to be Michael. I had the jacket, the gloves, the socks, the penny loafers, a few buttons, posters and so on. Yet there was one final piece necessary to make my Jacksonian tribute complete. I begged and pleaded with my mom for a Jheri Curl, and she was having none of it. (I thank her tenfold for this now, since I, unlike so many people I grew up with, have no incriminating Jheri Curl photos to haunt me.) Weeks went by; she would not budge. So I decided to give myself a curl.

Right before school one morning, I figured that if I could just activate my hair's natural curl, we'd be in business. Surely there had to be something lying around the house to shock my hair into cooperation! As mom was getting ready I found my muse: a massive tub of petroleum jelly. I dug my hand into the jar and scooped out an entire handful, smearing it all over my head. I repeated and repeated until my head was almost leaning to the side, heavy with Vaseline. (Can you imagine getting ready for work and your kid's school and discover a shiny halo of Vaseline over his head?) In an impressive display, my mom managed to spank me and wash my hair at the same time.

Weeks later, Michael's hair caught on fire in a Pepsi commercial. I remember seeing it on the news, and, Michael being my personal deity, I was nearly in tears. Will he die mom? Will he be ok? She didn't say a word. She just shot me this glance that said, 'See? That's what happens when you wear Jheri Curls. Your head catches on fire.' Needless to say, me and the curl were done."

One person spared...Thank God. If you are still rocking the Curl or know someone who is...its not too late for help. Now go vote!

Til Later,

16 comments:

Summer said...

This is BY FAR the most ridiculous thing I have EVER read. EVER. I'm glad that man's mom was able to spank him and wash his hair at the same time.

and what is love if you can't throw your entire family under the bus (while quoting scripcure to justify yourself).

My vote is for Adam. we already discussed this earlier this week, and I'm sorry to abandon you Adam, especially after you had my back on another topic we won't mention. But it's because he is so tall, the Jheri Curl would drip on the people below. and I will be one pissed off person if your Jheri Curl juice falls on my arm.

Budgit said...

Dawntoya you would look cute with a curl...but tell adam please don't do that!!! Adam would look like Thomas McClary from the Commodores!!!

Bex said...

i am SPEECHLESS!!! i can't stop laughing.

Hands D-O-W-N, Adam would look worse!!!!

Rachel Wilks said...

Adam would look way worse! You however, could probably pull it off. I can't believe I am even commenting on this subject! But its probably good to go ahead and discuss it now, because as my mom says "every style does come back!"

Shannon said...

I love my son in law dearly he is so handsome. But a jheri curl would KILL his good looks.

B-HO said...

Just when I think I have Heard (read) it ALL!! You go ahead and take RIDONKALOUS to a whole other level or galaxy for that matter...I think PREGNANCY has only enhanced your story tellin ability---I hope you keep this up...cuz I check your page daily...like a hit of CRACK ROCK!!And hands down, no question ADAM would look WAY worse ...cuz I have caught a glimpse of your glory, as Foxy Brown at Halloween...and YOU ROCKED IT!!

Lauren said...

Surely there's a Jheri Curl wig we could dig up to flesh out the hilarious thought of you or Adam with a Jheri Curl.

My vote: Adam.

Heather said...

I LOVE YOU DAWNTOYA! Girl, favorite scene in Coming to America was when the mother, father, and grandmother got up from the couch and left a little bit of the "juice" behind! AWESOME!!!

I have to say that even though you could probably rock a jheri curl, my vote would be for Adam. I think I would loose a little respect for him if I ever saw him with one. Sorry Adam!!!

Finally an Abrigg..... said...

ew. LIke Rachel, I think you could totally pull of anything and make it stylish. EVEN..if it's a Jheri Curl. EW.
And, I'm with Summer on the Jheri Curl falling on my arm.

This is my favorite post yet.

Kristen said...

Dawn, you know this friend of yours had to actually click on all the links to make sure she knew what exactly Jheri Curl was. I love you to the depths of my soul and I think you are gorgeous, but I have to say that you would look worse with the curl than Adam. Maybe I say that because I am picturing you some of your rough "around the house clothes" with dried out Jheri Curl because you didn't have time to make it to the salon.

Love, Whitey Whiterson

Dana said...

Dawn, this is out of control!! However, I have concluded that both of you would look terrible, but BABY THOMASON would ROCK IT! I will personally make sure that happens when he/she pops out.

Elizabeth said...

Remember the scene in Coming to America where the family gets off the couch and leaves the Jheri Curl stains?!!!! Love this post!

lauren w said...

i don't know. i may have to vote for you Dawn- partially cause Adam's been so beaten up by previous voters but mainly cause you have longer hair Dawn and the longer the hair the more Jheri Curl we are talking about.

The Faris Fam said...

I vote for Adam :)

The Ice House said...

Praise God for amazing movies like Coming to America!!
My favorite Reverend Brown quote is, "Girl, you look so good, someone ought to put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit."
But Dawn I agree with B-ho! U worked the curl at the Halloween party!!

The Faris Fam said...

Okay...who is doing your blog decor? It is amazing!!! And I am so so so excited for you having a baby!!! Be sure and post yourself as this little miracle grows inside you! :) Oh I can't wait to see your belly grow!!