Things That Make My Heart Sick

This morning headed to my last week of work, (yes!) I arrived on the 3rd floor and pressed the "up" elevator key. The elevator always takes forever getting there in this 34 story building, but 5 seconds later to my surprise the elevator had arrived. The door opens and there are 2 black men and 1 black woman on the elevator. 1 of the men had on a pair of jeans and a yellow polo, something similar to what my husband wore the day before. The other man had on a t-shirt with jeans and a black wave cap. The woman had on jeans and a t-shirt as well with her hair nicely yet tightly curled in spiral curls. I get in say "hello" and they kindly respond the same.

The elevator stops on the 4th floor and 1 white man enters the elevator and looks around at us as everyone does who enters a crowded elevator. I smile, he doesn't. No big deal. We stop on the 6th floor, 1 white woman and 1 white man enter the elevator in suits with brief cases complaining about a coworker who isn't doing her job right. They enter the tight elevator push their way to the back and corner the guy with the wave cap without acknowledging that they were unnecessarily crowding him out. I looked at him just to get a peep at his expression...it didn't change. They talked and talked as the elevator stopped for the 3rd time in a row. I raise my eyebrows at the black woman as if to say, "This thing is going to stop on every floor." She smiles and says "After floor 7 it'll fly." (NOTE: You only know this if you work in the building since the elevators are divided between high floors and mid floors...it cant stop until it gets to the 20's)

Sure enough we take off and stop at floor 23. The non smiling man leaves the elevator. The white man in the suit who is about 6'6 and fairly large doesn't move to give the others room, but that's okay because at floor 24 they all together shuffle out with quiet "excuse me's." I do my best to give them space, but again, the tall guy doesn't move.

So I am left with the suited up white male and female and we are headed to the same floor. I realize in that moment one or both of them must be lawyers since that is the office next to ours on the same floor. The tall white man says to the woman, "Now, that looks like a group of people headed to trial."

I immediately look at the woman and look away shaking my head. She mumbles a "yeah" and I pray God would let me hold my tongue for the next few seconds until we get to our floor. I exit and mumble something to the affect of "stereotyping idiot," and head with a heavy heart to my desk. (Don't worry, although it proves my heart is black, I mumble this inaudibly)

This makes my heart sick. I realize that everyone stereotypes. Everything in my soul doesn't want to do it, but at times I find myself thinking things I never want to think. But I war against it daily. I would be crushed if someone made assumptions about myself, my husband or friends based on their clothing or skin alone. (This goes for every race) Can we stop doing this? Is it possible? It just grieves me to my core, but I think what grieves me most is that this man in all his 6'6 huge glory thought it was okay to make that comment, once those people left, in front of me, the small pregnant black girl who "probably wont care or will be too intimidated to say anything." I say that because in order to have that much audacity to make such a statement in the presence of another African American he had to have made an assumption about who I was. I would bet my savings that he wouldn't have said that in front of a black man...say my equally as intimidating 6'5 husband?! You can guess why without my explaining cant you?

Okay, so what do we do? If you are a believer in Christ the first thing we should do is repent for how we view those God has purposefully created in His image. We don't just repent in a prayer but we repent with our actions. We stop holding our children tighter when young black men in baggy pants stand near us assuming they are thugs. (FYI: thugs don't want kids...'money and hoes'...maybe...kids? no...Most CNN articles I read usually show older white males as pedophiles and kidnappers, but when we stand next to blue collar white guys we don't hold anything a little tighter) Stop holding your breath when you are near a person who you think 'may smell' because of their different back ground or age. Nothing will contaminate you except for that sinful mindset. Stop getting nervous when people that you "just don't understand" find themselves in 'your space' or 'your world.' Just stop!!!

Choose today who you will serve. If its Jesus then lets act like Him. I don't remember the time Jesus ever held his breath, became nervous when other races came near, or clutched anything tighter. Jesus knew from day one who would capture Him, beat Him and hang Him on a cross but He never flinched at any encounter with them. He taught with His life at every turn. I only hope we can begin to do the same.

The sad thing is, one day someone of another race, class or creed may hurt, wound or even kill you or someone you love. It may honestly happen, but that has everything to do with Satan, sin, darkness and principalities and nothing to do with skin.

I had a friend who I truly love and admire of another race than my own call me one day to confess that they found themselves nervous around a group of black people and wanted to know if they were racist. This person was truly conflicted and would have given anything to change that feeling inside. I respected the honesty, the confession, the realization of the wrong and the longing for change. There is no better place to start then there. My prayer is that after reading this blog we would all search our hearts and begin to understand how we view each other and those around us.

Finally, and I will leave you guys alone...As I was typing this I was thinking of my 92 year old great grandmother who obviously lived through treacherous times in America where black people were mistreated and lynched daily and had ample reason to be afraid of and hate white Americans, but she is neither afraid of white people nor trees. She says she trusts Christ and lives as though she means it. I hope we can do the same.

Til Later,